attacktheblock mv 21 2011: A Chronological Breakdown of the Worst Horror Movie Year of All Time

2011 has been one rotten year for horror films, and I for one am not happy about it!

January

Season of the Witch — Nicolas Cage swinging a sword. Not the best way to start the year.

The Rite — Someone out there is still making movies inspired by The Exorcist. It’s 2011, by the way.

February

The Roommate — Someone out there is still making movies inspired by Fatal Attraction. And it’s freaking terrible.

Drive Angry — It deals with horror concepts, but I’m including this broadly enjoyable action flick mainly to make a point: horror movies are an endangered species.

March

Beastly — This is what horror films are turning into.

Red Riding Hood — See above. Actually, never see above.

April 

Insidious — The Saw-makers turn to their affections for Poltergeist, and the results are pretty darn creepy.

Scream 4 — A sad and wheezing relic.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night — Literally painful to watch.

May

Priest — A futuristic clergyman battles vampires. 

June

Super 8 –Barely a horror flick, but this is all we got.

July

Attack the Block!

August

Final Destination 5 — They’ve simply given up even trying.

Fright Night — One of the better recent remakes — and of course it didn’t make a nickel.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark — A low-key TV movie remake that will play better at home than in cinemas.

September

Apollo 18 — Finally, a sleeping pill in movie form.

Shark Night — Mindless, but it does offer some intermittent fun.

Creature — When you catch this dung-pile on video, remember that it opened on over 1,500 screens.

Dream House — A dry, turgid horror movie for people who don’t like horror movies.

October

The Thing — Remember how they kept us wondering if it was a remake or a prequel? Turns out it sucks so we don’t care any more.

The Skin I Live In — Arguably the finest horror film of the year.

Paranormal Activity 3 — More of the same, which is both fine and slightly tiresome.

November

Absolutely nothing, and if you say Breaking Dawn I may attack you.

December

The Darkest Hour — It looks kinda like horror, and man am I desperate.

Of course the titles listed above are the ones belonging to the “wide release” distributors. Horror-wise, we should still thanks IFC Films and Magnet / Magnolia for options like Black Death, The Housemaid, Vanishing on 7th Street, I Saw the Devil, Rubber, Stake Land, Hobo with a Shotgun, Troll Hunter, The Perfect Host, The Last Circus, Burke and Hare, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, and Undocumented.

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