If you haven’t heard of ‘Apollo 18,’ the intergalactic horror movie coming out this Friday, then allow us to catch you up to speed. NASA’s final moon-landing mission was Apollo 17, but now the powers that be have unearthed “long-lost footage” of an abandoned 18th mission. Compiled entirely from “found footage,” the movie shows the astronauts landing on the moon, finding out they’re not the only ones there, and then fighting for their lives as things go from bad to worse.
In short, it’s ‘The Blair Witch Project’ on the moon.
Maybe we’re alone on this one, but while we still haven’t seen ‘Apollo 18,’ we always thought ‘The Blair Witch Project’ was just fine on planet Earth. Either way, that got us thinking about what other movies would work if they had taken place in space. So take it with a grain of salt and click through to check out the movies we think could have made it to the moon.
‘Chariots of Fire’
What’s it about?: Two British track stars — one Christian and one Jewish — train to compete in the 1924 Olympics.
Why put it on the moon?: Have you ever seen a footrace in zero gravity? That’s what we thought. If Ridley Scott got ‘Alien’ made by pitching it as “‘Jaws’ in space,” there must be someone out there willing to cash in on this.
‘Kramer vs. Kramer’
What’s it about?: An advertising exec has to balance his demanding career while raising his son after his wife leaves their unhappy marriage to discover herself.
Why put it on the moon?: ‘Over the Top’ took this Oscar-winning formula and gave it an original spin by throwing arm wrestling into the mix. It didn’t work. We’re not certain this movie would actually be better on the moon, but if Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep were involved, there’s no question we’d still cry our eyes out.
‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’
What’s it about?: An adventure-seeking archaeologist teams up with his old fling and his teenage son to solve the mystery behind a mysterious alien skull before some Nazis beat them to it.
Why put it on the moon?: It’s not so much a matter of whether it would be good on the moon, but rather us getting used to the idea of it someday becoming a reality. Since ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ nuked the fridge six ways from Sunday and ended with Dr. Jones discovering a UFO, we think it’s only a matter of time before we see him whipping moon rocks in a space suit while Shia LaBeouf swings around with martian monkeys. Seriously, don’t be surprised if this happens.
‘The Road Warrior’
What’s it about?: An ex-cop with a muscle car becomes the unlikely protector for survivors living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Why put it on the moon?: Why wouldn’t you want to see a post-apocalyptic car chase movie on the moon?
What’s it about?:A New York City cop goes to visit his wife in L.A. for Christmas, but then some German terrorists crash the party and the cop has to single-handedly save the day.
Why put it on the moon?: ‘Under Siege’ was ‘Die Hard’ on a boat, ‘Air Force One’ was ‘Die Hard’ on a plane, and those worked out pretty well. With that being said, is ‘Die Hard’ on the moon really that crazy of an idea? Slap a space suit on John McClane, get some angry Germans to hijack his shuttle, and watch those ticket sales soar!
What’s it about?: A group of kids survive life-threatening booby traps and a family of greedy thugs in the pursuit of a legendary pirate’s gold.
Why put it on the moon?: Folks, who knows what’s going on beneath the moon’s surface? As far as we know, the inside of that rock is loaded with more adventure and space pirate booty than you can imagine. Not that there was anything wrong with One-Eyed Willy’s traps, but this one sounds like a winner to us, you guys!
’28 Days Later’
What’s it about?: Animal activists bring on the zombie apocalypse, it spreads across London, and one man has to find a way to survive.
Why put it on the moon?: It’s the zombie apocalypse. On the moon. Yes, please.
So what movies would you like to see take place on the moon?
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