Burn Notice, Wilfred, and Ugly Americans

What to watch on Thursday, June 30.

Like an enchilada chillin’ in a roller skate, tonight’s television offerings will be spicy and confusing!

9pm, USA
Burn Notice
Moms! They are always horning in your secret mission to infiltrate human-trafficking schemes! Tonight Michael gets super annoyed at Madeline when she becomes involved in his plot to rescue a woman’s cousin from the sex slave trade. This show.

10pm, FX
Wilfred
It’s another new episode of television’s weirdest and best new show! Tonight Ryan gets fined for taking a “dog” to the beach, plus Wilfred reveals a juicy tidbit about his foxy owner.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10:30pm, Comedy Central
Ugly Americans
This show is back, you guys. It’s the continuing saga of everyman Mark Lilly, a social worker at the Department of Integration (of monsters) and his distasteful experiences (with monsters). Tonight he attempts to set up a summer camp (for monsters) while his co-worker, demon bureaucrat Twayne, infiltrates a secret wizard compound.

10pm, Comedy Central
Futurama
RIP Bender! (Temporarily.) Bender dies in tonight’s episode, but continues to haunt the Planet Express building as a disembodied electronic ghost.

10:30pm, FX
Louie
In tonight’s episode of television’s best homemade comedy series, Louie gets all existential on a first date (or, first “non-date”), has a number of memorable experiences whilst out and about, plus he muses about his own body issues. Cheer up, Louie, it’s the media!!

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF…

So You Think You Can Dance, 8 p.m., Fox
Wipeout, 8 p.m., ABC
50 Super Epic TV Moments, 9 p.m., E!
Expedition Impossible, 9 p.m., ABC
4th & Forever, 9 p.m., Current
First 48, 9 & 10 p.m., A&E
Police Women of Broward County, 9 p.m., TLC
Love Bites, 10 p.m., NBC
Mounted in Alaska, 10 p.m., History
Nightmare Next Door, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
NY Ink, 10 p.m., TLC
Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo
Rookie Blue, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., ABC
Suits, 10 p.m., USA
Swords: Life on the Line, 10 p.m., Discovery
True Life, 10 & 11 p.m., MTV
Childrens Hospital, 12 a.m., Cartoon Network

LATE-NITE PICKS:

311 on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Cake on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Henry Winkler on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Matthew Bomer & Tiffani Thiessen on Watch What Happens: Live, 11 p.m., Bravo
Tom Hanks on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS

What are you watching tonight?