We here at Moviefone love a good debate, and nothing gets us going like an argument involving Star Wars. Lucky for us, the release of ‘Cowboys & Aliens,’ starring Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig, provides the perfect excuse for us to pit together two of the greatest characters in history: Han Solo vs. James Bond (aka Han vs. Bond).
Before we start, we will state the obvious: James Bond has 22 movies; Han Solo has but three. We’ve done our best to even the playing field by assuming what would happen if Han were in more. We will judge these two men on five different categories ranging from best shooter to biggest ladies’ man. Can The Force halt 007? Will the vodka martinis drown Han in a sea of Leia-related sorrows? Check below to find out.
Case for Bond: What else is there to say about James Bond’s love life (well, other than the fact that he has somehow managed not to catch an STD or father a child)? His record speaks for itself. No matter what life-or-death situation James finds himself in, he always ends up charming the pants off a woman. There have been 22 Bond films so far, and he has presumably slept with at least a few ladies in each. You do the math.
Case for Han: Unlike James, Han Solo has only one woman to compare. While he’s more brash than 007 (the “I love you”/”I know” scene before he’s frozen in carbonite), he still has a smooth-talking side, particularly later on in the trilogy. And we can only assume that prior to Leia, Han had his go-around with plenty of maidens throughout the galaxy.
Winner: Bond. Solo can hold his own in this department, but nobody touches James Bond when it comes to women.
Case for Bond: The Walther PPK is Bond’s weapon of choice, and he’s no slouch when it comes to firing it. Thousands of nameless henchmen have likely met their demise thanks to that pistol. James has also had a chance to fire some bigger weapons as well, like the rocket cigarette in ‘You Only Live Twice.’
Case for Han: Han obviously knows how to handle a blaster — just watch that Cantina scene in ‘A New Hope,’ where he conceals his weapon under the table and shoots Greedo (first). He’s also brilliant during an attack against the Millennium Falcon where he, along with Luke Skywalker, take down a group of TIE fighters.
Winner: Bond. We give Han tons of credit for the TIE fighters along with shooting a man in the middle of a crowded bar (the latter of which he did after Jabba the Hut had put a bounty out on his head). However, just watch that YouTube clip of James Bond’s Coldest Kills and try to tell us he isn’t the better shooter.
Case for Bond: Guys have been dreaming about driving around in their own tricked-out Aston Martin ever since it first appeared in ‘Goldfinger’ back in 1964. While 007 has gone through his fair share of sports cars over the years, one thing has stayed constant: He can always handle them. Just take the alley scene in ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ (below). He can also handle a tank (‘Goldeneye’).
Case for Han: Han claims the Millennium Falcon is the fastest in the galaxy, while others have called it a “piece of junk.” No matter what your opinion of it is, Solo has been able to guide his ship through an asteroid field during a chase with TIE fighters and has taken it into light speed on countless occasions.
Winner: Han. The Millennium Falcon is pretty old. The fact that Solo can guide that “hunk of junk” through an asteroid field gives him our vote for best driver.
Case for Bond: You sort of have to be a genius to become a secret agent. How else would Bond be able to get out of all those tight situations where bad guys are certain they have 007 trapped? For instance, let’s take the train scene in ‘From Russia With Love,’ where Bond tricks bad guy Donald ‘Red’ Grant into opening a briefcase full of tear gas.
Case for Han: Solo is pretty handy. He not only has the smarts to repair the Millennium Falcon anytime it breaks down, he was also able save Luke Skywalker’s life in the frozen world of Hoth: When Luke went missing, Han went out to look for his friend. After finding him nearly unconscious, Solo decides to kill a Tauntaun and cover Luke’s frozen body in it to stay warm.
Winner: Bond. Solo may be smart, but he isn’t secret-agent smart.
Case for Bond: Sharp suits and watches, a slick haircut, flashy shoes: it’s all part of the James Bond lifestyle. Can you imagine 007 doing business in anything less than a suit or tuxedo?
Case for Han: Like Bond, Solo doesn’t deviate much from his go-to outfit: black pants, a white long-sleeve shirt and a vest. Unlike Bond, he probably doesn’t care much about the way he dresses. (Plus, no one with style has ever been accused of being “scruffy looking.”)
Winner: Bond. Is it really a contest?
According to our count, James Bond wins this fight 4-1. If you don’t agree, then sound off in the comments.
Images courtesy of Everett Collection.