What a pair!

Mel Gibson’s secretly-taped misogynistic rantings at baby mama Oksana Grigorieva and Lindsay Lohan’s boozy fall from teen superstardom have earned the Hollywood Eff-Ups namesake cocktails at Tinseltown’s Birds Cafe, only a hop, skip, and a jump away from The Church of Scientology’s famed Celebrity Center.

The Los Angeles Times summed up the saga in a scoop last week: “For the ranting star of Braveheart, they served: ‘The Mel Gibson Martini: Vodka martini with a very white onion. Warning: offensive smell. May leave a bad taste in your mouth.’ For the jail-bound starlet, ‘The Lohan: Vodka…’”

Lohan’s cocktail consists of vodka and olive juice and comes with a warning: “Careful: two drinks can land you in jail and kill your career.”

Mel is also the subject of the controversial “Mel Gibson Bipolar Cocktail” at The Oak Bar, an after hours hotspot in the Big Apple’s Plaza Hotel.

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