You think you’re tired of me hating on Ringer every week? Imagine how I feel. It’s not even that this show is the worst thing I watch—oh, how I wish that were the case. It’s more that I’m frustrated by the series’ persistent mediocrity. Yes, there are twists, and every once in a while they take me by surprise, but for the most part, it’s fake-out after fake-out, clumsy character development, and way too much CW-approved music.
Regarding last night’s episode, I will say that I like where the Charlie (or should I say John?) storyline is going—though this guy is kind of awful at maintaining his front. Buy some more clothes, geez! Otherwise, I thought it was kind of a bore. Does anyone give a crap about Andrew’s business? Or Olivia? While the visit to Siobhan’s shrink was interesting, I feel like it ultimately wasted its potential. Siobhan talked about being paranoid, which was almost definitely part of her master plan. What new information did we glean?
I’m way more intrigued by Michael Ausiello’s most recent Ask Ausiello column for TVLine, in which he writes, “A major [Ringer] character is about to take his/her last breath.” Death! Real death! There’s nothing I enjoy more than needless speculation, so I thought I’d offer my top picks for Ringer’s first casualty.
You knew I was going to say it. Juliet has never worked for me as a character on this show, and the more time Ringer spends on her, the less engaged I find myself. While killing Juliet would be a pretty dark move for the show to make, it could be a good one. What if Juliet were offed by her seemingly friendly teacher? That would quickly establish Mr. Carpenter as a merciless villain. Plus, Juliet’s death would draw Andrew into the game—who knows how he’d act after losing the person who matters to him most?
The other obvious choice: Next to Juliet, Malcolm is Ringer’s weakest link. It’s a lot more likely that the show would dispose of Malcolm, and I do like the ramifications for Bridget. She’s operating under the assumption that all the very bad things happening around her are a threat against Siobhan—Malcolm’s death would reveal that she’s a target, too. Not to mention the toll that it would take on her psyche. After all, Malcolm is the only character who knows who “Siobhan” really is.
Seriously, just put him out of his misery. Let Nestor Carbonell move on to a show that knows how to use him properly. I suppose killing Machado would throw a wrench in the story, given that his pursuit of Bridget is kind of integral to the plot. But it’s not going anywhere—and if he is getting closer to the truth, it hasn’t shown. Plus, without Machado, Bridget might feel even more threatened, leading her to step things up in unraveling the mystery.
Now, hear me out. Killing Bridget would be a game-changer, to say the least, and a risky move. I’m not even sure it would be the right one. But if Ringer really wants to up its shock value, it’s going to have to pull the rug out from under us entirely. Getting rid of Bridget would force Siobhan into the spotlight, and she’s clearly the more interesting sister. I know that kills the whole twin thing, but hey, no more awful green screen! Besides, there could always be another sister somewhere. Triplets!
Which Ringer character do you think will die first?