Tag Archive: Urgent


dragon tattoo Is the American Version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Better Than the Swedish Version? (and 24 Other Urgent Questions)

If you or a trusted family member (probably from the Midwest — I speak from experience) is literate, then, next week, a movie that you most likely already know the ending to is opening called ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.’ Always looking for truth in advertising, this reporter can now break the news that, yes, there is a girl in this movie and, yes, she… Continue reading Is the American Version of 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' Better Than the Swedish Version? (and 24 Other Urgent Questions)











At midnight, I saw a movie that you may or may not see. But probably not. The name of the movie that I saw is called ‘Shark Night 3D.’ As you may or may not be able to tell from the title of this movie, there are sharks involved and there are scenes that take place at night. Should you exchange the currency that you earned at your… Continue reading How Many People Are Eaten by Sharks in 'Shark Night 3D'? (and 24 Other Urgent Questions)












final destination 5 Is Final Destination 5 the Best Film Featuring Death by LASIK? (and 24 Other Urgent Questions)

This weekend, a number of you will spend your money to see a movie called ‘Final Destination 5.’ As with the deaths portrayed in the ‘Final Destination’ series of films, nothing can prevent this from happening. Also, it’s mid-August, which means that the better movies are taking a break for a while. They’ll be back! We promise! But not this weekend. This weekend… Continue reading Is 'Final Destination 5' the Best Film Featuring 'Death by LASIK'? (and 24 Other Urgent Questions)











On Friday, a ‘Planet of the Apes’ movie will be available at a theater near you. It’s the seventh one, actually, so perhaps you’re excited already? Then again, the last one probably came out before you were born. That is, unless you count the one starring Mark Wahlberg that was released in 2001, but, alas, you don’t count that one because it was awful. This one stars James… Continue reading Does James Franco Lose an Arm During 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes'? (And 24 Other Urgent Questions)