It’s been three years and one day since “Green Lantern” appeared in theaters with a thud, so why not revisit all the painful ways it went wrong with this rejiggered trailer from Screen Junkies?
“Honest Movie Trailers” takes no prisoners when it comes to ripping apart a movie that stunk up the screen, and “Green Lantern” definitely let ‘er rip. No one is safe here — not the dumb-looking CGI, the nonsensical plot, or the limp performances from Ryan “Not Gosling” Reynolds and Blake Lively. “Too nerdy for mainstream America and too mainstream for nerdy America,” this DC Comics flick made its production budget back only with help from foreign moviegoers; it brought in only $ 116.6M domestically, with $ 53M of that coming in on the opening weekend.
“Green Lantern” was a stinker, but can’t we let bygones be bygones? Was it really that epically bad compared to, say, “R.I.P.D.”? (That’s not a rhetorical question; we didn’t see either of them.) Anyway, we’re firm believers in second (or third or fourth) chances, so we’re still looking forward to seeing Reynolds in Marjane Satrapi’s “The Voices” and Atom Egoyan’s “The Captive” later this year. Perhaps he’s on the cusp of a McConaissance.
Gallery | 18 Unintentionally Funny Horror Movies
- ‘Birdemic’ (2008)
This movie is filled with a platoon of deadly vultures and eagles, which are awful, ‘90s-era animated gifs. Did the director have them saved from his old Geocities page?
- ‘The Wicker Man’ (2006
Not only does Nicolas Cage punch a woman while wearing a bear costume (hold on while we LOL for a moment), he’s killed by a mask full of bees. “Not the bees! Aaargh, oh no my eyes, my eyes aaargh!”
- ‘The Unborn’ (2009)
A young woman is haunted by the spirit of her dead twin brother, who died in the womb. To prevent him from possessing her, it’s imperative that she walk around in her underwear.
- ‘The Exorcist II: The Heretic’ (1977)
Linda Blair tap dances! James Earl Jones is dressed up as a giant locust! Richard Burton yells, “Pazuzu, prince of the evil spirits of the air, take me to Kokumo!”
- ‘Troll 2′ (1990)
First of all … there aren’t even any trolls! Instead, it features a family of vegetarian goblins who want to turn humans into plants so they can eat them.
- ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’ (1959)
Considered the worst movie ever made, Ed Wood’s anti-masterpiece is so bad, it’s hilarious. The ridiculous “special effects” and cheap production values are matched by clunky, odd dialogue (“Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!”).
- ‘Shark in Venice’ (2008)
Oh, there are sharks that can bite gondolas in half, mobsters with terrible Italian accents, and lost Medici gold. But this movie had us at “starring Stephen Baldwin.”
- ‘Night of the Lepus’ (1972)
Hey, we were disturbed by “Watership Down” as kids, but this horde of killer bunny rabbits look like they can barely murder a carrot, much less full-sized humans.
- ‘Frogs’ (1972)
Amphibians finally get their revenge on a cranky old millionaire who’s been poisoning them for years. Ribbit motherf—–!
- ‘The Happening’ (2008)
Mother Nature? More like Murderer Nature. We don’t know what’s funnier: Mark Wahlberg talking to a plastic houseplant or everyone running away from the wind.
- ‘The Swarm’ (1978)
More killer bees! Michael Caine deserved an Oscar for keeping a straight face when saying lines like “I never dreamed, that it would turn out to be the bees. They’ve always been our friend.”
- ‘Mosquito’ (1995)
So, some aliens crash on Earth, mosquitoes feed on them, and voila — giant mutant insects that want to devour us all! The silly premise is matched by stock characters, ridiculous dialogue, and cheesy effects.
- ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation’ (1995)
It’s amusing to watch Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger trying to out-”act” each other. Plus, while there are no actual chainsaws in this movie, it does feature cross-dressing and the Illuminati. Um, OK!
- ‘Dreamcatcher’ (2003)
Wow, what a cast — Morgan Freeman, Timothy Olyphant, a young Damian Lewis (who really has come a long, long, loooong way). Just watch this.
- ‘Basket Case’ (1982)
A man carries his murderous, surgically-separated Siamese twin around in a wicker basket.
- ‘It’s Alive’ (1974)
A mutant baby flees the delivery room via skylight, roams the sewers, and goes on a killing rampage.
- ‘The Thing With Two Heads’ (1972)
A dying white racist’s head is transplanted to share a black death row inmate’s body. Hijinks ensue.
- ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’ (1987)
Members of a hair metal rock band start to turn into demons, and only their lead singer can save the day/Canada. Tagline: “When the band starts to rock, heads start to roll.”
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