What to Watch Tonight: American Horror Story and the Season Premieres of Psych

What to watch on Wednesday, October 12…

Tonight’s television schedule will make you so glad you came straight home after work! As opposed to, I don’t know, attending a carnival? Where have you been going after work lately??

10pm, FX
American Horror Story
Is everybody mentally prepared for another episode of this thing? Let’s do it then! Tonight Ben refuses to treat Tate because Tate’s going after Violet, plus he decides to head back to Boston to clear up some unfinished business. Also Vivien and Violet find themselves in a frightening situation that’s suspiciously similar to one the house has seen (or instigated?) before.

8pm, CBS
Survivor: South Pacific
Based on the teasers, tonight’s episode of Survivor promises to contain the most disgusting challenge in recent memory. I think it’s something along the lines of the tribes having to bite flesh from a whole roast pig and spit it into bucket? Vegans beware!

America’s most charming non-psychic charlatan returns tonight to assist in a Star Wars memorabilia-related murder. I sense the episode will be either humorous or geeky, or both. Just kidding, I’m not actually psychic you guys!

Work of Art: The Next Great Artist
One of Bravo’s more watchable and less reprehensible reality shows returns tonight with a new batch of alternately delusional and talented artists! In tonight’s premiere the artists will all reinterpret “kitschy” art that’s been deemed too low-brow by the non-hoi polloi.

10pm, ABC
Whose life will Emily sabotage this week? Glad you asked, tonight she’ll focus her attentions on the therapist who had her committed as a child, during a—get this—mental health charity event. Oh ho ho, how apropos, you devil woman, you!

The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC
The X Factor, 8 p.m., Fox
Up All Night, 8 p.m., NBC
Suburgatory, 8:30 p.m., ABC
America’s Next Top Model, 9 p.m., CW
Criminal Minds, 9 p.m., CBS
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
Harry’s Law, 9 p.m., NBC
Law & Order: UK, 9 p.m., BBC America
Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery
Happy Endings, 9:30 p.m., ABC
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 10 p.m., CBS
Dance Moms, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Extreme Couponing, 10 & 10:30 p.m., TLC
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 10 p.m., NBC
Luther, 10 p.m., BBC America
Paranormal Witness, SEASON 1 FINALE, 10 p.m., Syfy
Penn & Teller Tell a Lie, 10 p.m., Discovery
Real World, 10 p.m., MTV
South Park, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
The Ultimate Fighter, 10 p.m., Spike
Top Chef: Just Desserts, 10 p.m., Bravo
Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Blue Mountain State, 11 p.m., Spike

Alan Cumming & Michael Phelps on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Bill Clinton on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Butch Vig on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
Evan Rachel Wood on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Jim Parsons & Cake on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Michael C. Hall on Conan, 12 a.m., TBS
Rob Lowe & Idris Elba on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Zooey Deschanel on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC

What are you watching tonight?

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