What to watch on Wednesday, January 11…
All right, now we’re talking. If you can’t find something good to watch tonight, then maybe you should just pick up your TV set and throw into a river of hot lava, because television is not for you and you don’t need it. For everyone else, there’s tons of good stuff on, I’m telling you:
SERIES PREMIERE, 8:30pm, NBC
Are You There, Chelsea?
Despite Whitney not being quite the hit that NBC was hoping for, it’s moving to Wednesdays tonight to pair up with this new Chelsea Handler sitcom for a sort of Brassy Ladies of Comedy Hour. Loosely based on Handler’s book Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea, this one stars Laura Prepon as Handler’s alter-ego who slings shots and sass at a local dive (Handler herself appears as a dowdy, born-again sister). Tonight’s pilot deals with Chelsea’s decision to get her life together after getting a DUI. It couldn’t possibly be as bad as Whitney, right? (Don’t answer that.)
SEASON 9 PREMIERE, 8pm, CW
One Tree Hill
A poignant countdown begins tonight for One Tree Hill fans as the show’s ninth and final season gets underway. In tonight’s premiere Brooke attempts to adapt to her new family life with Julian while Clay and Quinn deal with a complication of their own. And, you know, Chad Michael Murray returns. Ladies?
Professionally hilarious people Michael McKean and Megan Mullally guest-star tonight as Dave’s dad and Dave’s dad’s new girlfriend, who also happens to be Penny’s mother. Meanwhile Alex comes to suspect that the Chinese restaurant next door is actually a brothel and also she purchases a foul-mouthed parrot for a pet. That is so many comedic premises! I better rest up beforehand.
Tonight Emily sets her sights on a famous author who has nefarious ties to the Hamptons. Elsewhere, Daniel decides to get involved in his parents’ divorce, plus a “shocking discovery” forces everyone to scramble. (It’s unclear whether there will be any karate this week.)
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, Syfy
One of TV’s coolest, most underrated reality competitions returns for a second season tonight as 14 aspiring movie makeup artists must reimagine characters from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely looking forward to all the fun nightmares I’ll be having afterward!
AWARDS SPECIAL, 9pm, CBS
People’s Choice Awards 2012
It’s that time of year again, the night when Hollywood hands out its own version of Certificates of Participation! Which incredibly successful, widely adored, well-paid actors will finally get their due tonight? Nominees include Hugh Jackman, Johnny Depp, Robert Pattinson, Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, and Reese Witherspoon. Sometimes it’s just nice to know that voting with your dollars isn’t enough, you know?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF…
The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC
True Life, 8 & 9 p.m., MTV
Whitney, 8 p.m., NBC
Suburgatory, 8:30 p.m., ABC
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
Harry’s Law, 9 p.m., NBC
I Cloned My Pet, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9 p.m., TLC
Mobbed, 9 p.m., Fox
Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC
Only in America With Larry the Cable Guy, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., History
Sons of Guns, 9 p.m., Discovery
Dog the Bounty Hunter, 10 p.m., A&E
Hot in Cleveland, 10 p.m., TV Land
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, 10 p.m., NBC
State of Play, 10 p.m., BBC America
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes, PREVIEW, 10 p.m., MTV
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!
Toddlers & Tiaras, 10 p.m., TLC
Top Chef: Texas, 10 p.m., Bravo
The Exes, 10:30 p.m., TV Land
Out of Character With Krista Smith, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 11 p.m., USA
Adam Goldberg on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Dolly Parton on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Jack McBrayer on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Liam Neeson on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Rosie O’Donnell on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Woody Harrelson on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
What are you watching tonight?