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What to Watch Tonight: NCIS, Last Man Standing, and the History Channel takes on Zombies

What to watch on Tuesday, October 25…

Happy Tuesday to you, your family, and friends, but not their family or friends because that’s just too many people right there. Unless you would be included in the aforementioned group of family or friends of your family and friends, because like I said, Happy Tuesday to you!

8pm, CBS
NCIS
Quick question: Are there any Navy lieutenants left? Or have they all been murdered by now? According to NCIS they are just being practically mowed down like every day. Well there was at least ONE left, because he or she got murdered via forced hydration (the perfect crime!) and now the NCIS team must get to the bottom of it. Just saying, if you are a Navy lieutenant, you may consider shacking up in a bomb shelter because according to NCIS you are in DANGER.

8pm, ABC
Last Man Standing
Because Mike (Tim Allen) surrounds himself with uptight, unreasonable harpies, his grandson Mike has been forbidden from trick-or-treating. Good thing Mike is A MAN and will take his grandson trick-or-treating LIKE MEN SHOULD.

10pm, FX
Sons of Anarchy
Tonight at the SAMCRO clubhouse, the fellas spend an entire evening on their hands and knees looking for a missing puzzle piece from the Thomas Kinkade jigsaw they’d been working on. Just kidding, they’ll actually be “dealing with an external threat,” like always.

10:30pm, Comedy Central
Workaholics
Tonight the dudes are thrown for a loop when Jillian (the insanifunny Jillian Bell) becomes their new boss. Will she be lenient toward their pot-smoking jokes and incessant non-sequiturs? Highly doubtful, highly doubtful.

ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8pm, History
Zombies: A Living History
Tonight the History Channel delves into the historical and fact-based origins of our current zombie fascination, including a look at the legends of Gilgamesh, Vikings, primitive Haiti and the Bible itself. How many of the talking heads will cite Jesus’ zombie credentials? Probably all of them if they’re reputable.

ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9pm, HBO
Prayer for a Perfect Season
This here’s one of those crazy-riveting HBO documentaries about ordinary people and their endlessly fascinating ways (Ira Glass, call your lawyers). Prayer for a Perfect season follows the 2010-2011 boys’ basketball team of New Jersey’s St. Patrick High School and the lead-up to their showdown with archrivals St. Anthony’s of Jersey City. Good luck fellas, make all of the touchdowns!

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF…
Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC
The X Factor, 8 p.m., Fox
Man Up!, 8:30 p.m., ABC
19 Kids and Counting, 9 & 9:30 p.m., TLC
Dancing With the Stars, 9 p.m., ABC
NCIS: Los Angeles, 9 p.m., CBS
Rachel Zoe Project, SEASON 4 FINALE, 9 p.m., Bravo
True Life, 9 p.m., MTV
Body of Proof, 10 p.m., ABC
I Used to Be Fat, 10 p.m., MTV
Little Couple, 10 & 10:30 p.m., TLC
Mad Fashion, 10 p.m., Bravo
Onion News Network, 10 p.m., IFC
Reed Between the Lines, 10 p.m., BET
Top Shot, SEASON 3 FINALE, 10 p.m., History
Tosh.0, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Unforgettable, 10 p.m., CBS
Wild Freaks of Nature, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Science
Chelsea Settles, 11 p.m., MTV

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Abigail Breslin on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Barack Obama & Amanda Seyfried on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Eddie Murphy on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Hugh Laurie on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Joe Berlinger & Bruce Sinofsky on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
T.I. on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Zach Galifianakis & Aaron Paul on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS

What are you watching tonight?

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