Meredith versus Olivia. Olivia versus Meredith. It’s a debate that’s been raging as long as…well, as long as Taylor Swift has had two cats.
Much has been made of Miss Swift and her famous felines. Entire think pieces have been written on her relationship to them, and we’ve all heard more times than we can count about how she leans on them in times of trouble. (Who wouldn’t? Have you seen how soft they are?)
But we’re here to talk about something much more sinister; we’re here to discuss the daily face-off between each cat’s respective fans. After all, one must choose sides. Anyone who thinks they can have equal fandom of and appreciation towards both Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson is totally kidding themselves. It’s a showdown; a feud for the ages.
Now we’re not going to sit here and hash out this topic. We’re also not going to pick sides. That would be crazy. What we are doing is asking you to pick sides. We know every Taylor Swift fan has a cat they like more than the other, so now is the time to cough it up.
And as a reward, we are prepared to offer you our super scientific personality analysis based on your chosen cat. With no more information than your preferred Swift pet, we can give you insights about yourself you’ve never even realized. Think of it like a horoscope, only much much more accurate. But be mindful: You may learn things that you did not wish to. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
If your favorite is Meredith: You’re the oldest sibling, or maybe even an only child. At the very least, you wish you were an only child. You’re as smart as a whip, but it takes people a few times hanging out with you to realize it. When they first meet you, they’ll think you’re aloof, quiet, and definitely not listening to anything they have to say. But once you warm up to them, you drop some bomb knowledge and blow their minds.
While they’re yammering on about how they lettered in soccer in high school and how well prepared they are for difficult office situations because of all their competitive time learning the game, you quietly remind them that exactly 17 days ago at Sally’s birthday party, while you were waiting in line for the bathroom next to one another, they made a joke about how they only played high school soccer so that it would look good on their application to Penn, and they suddenly realize that you’re not vapid at all, but rather a true force to be reckoned with.
That said, you can be prickly, if that reminder about what you said to the person who just wanted to pretend they were good at something in high school didn’t help you realize. But it’s mostly because you’re shy; a wallflower. If there’s a party, you’re probably in the corner sipping a martini, pretending to be reading a very important email on your phone. In fact, you never go anywhere without your phone at full battery, just in case you find yourself in a social situation in which you need to be pretending to be reading a very important email on your phone.
You’re a traditionalist to your very core. You don’t like change, whether it’s a new cubicle location at work or a different flavor at your local Fro-Yo place. You allow yourself exactly one non-dairy, sugar-free dessert every seven days and you spend all week reminding yourself of this special treat, and you really don’t appreciate it when you have to sprinkle your gummy bears on strawberry sorbet instead of raspberry.
You expect your romantic relationships to go by the book as well…you would never dream of being the first one to call after a first date, and while you think of it, you also kind of hate that everyone texts about plans these days anyways. You prefer anyone you date to be well-read, well-groomed and without a doubt well-mannered. You’re not about to open a car door yourself.
You take your personal style very seriously. You dress to the nines, and everyone knows it—in fact, it’s come to be something people expect of you. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on your clothes, so long as you look polished, but you’re not not trying to buy expensive things, ya know?
If your favorite is Olivia: You love attention. You crave it, in fact. If all eyes aren’t on you, well, then they shouldn’t be anywhere. It’s not that you’re loud or obnoxious, of course, but rather you just always happen to have the most interesting story or the funniest joke. In other words, you’re definitely not camera-shy. Just take a look at your Instagram! You shine in front of a lens.
You’re incredibly open and honest. You’re a people person and you show it in a way that some would describe as endearingly affectionate, and others would describe as stifling or even inappropriate. But what can you say? And why would you sit in two different chairs when you could share one chair? And why would you greet people with a handshake when you could greet them with a bear hug and a soft nuzzle?
Your life thrives on your friendships and relationships. You don’t know what you would do without all the people in your circle. In fact, a person can never have enough friends. You like almost everyone you come across, because chances are they’re going to give you that aforementioned attention.
You wear your heart on your sleeve. Do you fall in love too fast? Maybe. But if a person can give you a good back scratch why shouldn’t you pledge your whole self to them? That said, for some reason you haven’t exactly been lucky in love. You’re a great first date; have we mentioned that you’re super lovable? But for some reason all sorts of people come into your life and then you never see them again. Luckily you have a pretty short attention span, and there’s always a new first date to be had.