Broke Heidi Montag Taking Self-Defense Classes: “I’m Afraid To Go Out Alone!”

Heidi Montag’s wardrobe is just one aspect of the washed-up villainess’ once tony lifestyle that’s feeling the brunt of her depleted finances.

And you thought Speidi had all but evaporated into oblivion because nobody cared anymore!

She’s lost her millions and can no longer afford her bodyguards, so the tone-deaf wannabe songstress has taken matters into her own hands and is learning martial arts to protect herself. (Like anyone will actually want to kidnap her…) While hubby Spencer has started pawning off his cherished gun collection on eBay, Heidi’s taking self-defense classes in a last ditch effort to save the cash once allotted for security.

Maybe she’ll land a role in the next sequel to The Karate Kid?

Heidi says she’s become a prisoner in her own home (which is actually her in-laws’ poolhouse) because her “celebrity” status (Cue laugh track here….) makes it nearly impossible for her to venture outdoors alone.

Denial. It isn’t just a River in Egypt.

“I can’t afford security, so I practice self-defense and chain punching,” Heidi says. “I have spent millions on security in the last four years because I had to take care of the cost all on my own. It’s crazy and it’s hard, but life is not always fair. I have had to change my life. I can’t afford to go out to the clubs anymore because the sort of protection I need can cost anywhere from five to 10 thousand dollars a night… When you travel it’s worse, because you need to cover the guards’ travel, food, lodging etc and pay them. That is actually where all my money went because safety is number one.”

Perhaps not surprisingly, Heidi’s self-defense classes aren’t coming along as quickly as she would have hoped, so the stitched-up reality star has taken refuge in her home.

“It is scary to be out there without protection, people do follow me and you can never be too careful,” she explained. “It’s overwhelming, and it’s most difficult when I’m in large groups of people. I’m not ready to go out alone yet… I’m only 5”2 tall and I have a small frame so I understand that I can’t do it alone. Which is why I don’t go out as much anymore. Half the reason I am laying low and staying to myself is because I don’t have that security like I used too, and you can never predict what will happen.”