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Conan the Barbarian Tale of the Tape: Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Jason Momoa
Next week, moviegoers will thrill to the tale of Conan, a sophisticated chap from the upper echelons of high society … wait, what’s that? That’s not true? He’s a “barbarian”? That seems like a harsh title, doesn’t it? Well, in any case, the tale of Conan “the Barbarian” reenters the zeitgeist next week thanks to a new film starring Jason Momoa. How does Momoa stack up against the 1982 Conan, Arnold Schwarzenegger? And what do we know about Jason Momoa, apart from the fact that he appeared in ‘Game of Thrones’ without saying very much? Let’s compare the two big-screen Conans, shall we?
BIRTHPLACE
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Born in Thai, Austria.
Jason Momoa: Born in Honolulu, Hawaii.
Advantage: Even
HEIGHT
Jason Momoa: By most accounts, Momoa is six foot, three inches tall.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: By most accounts, Schwarzenegger is just under six feet tall.
Advantage: Momoa
FAMILY
Arnold Schwarzenegger: His father joined the Nazi party in 1938.
Jason Momoa: You know, let’s just go ahead and give this one to Momoa … no matter what.
Advantage: Momoa
Watch the trailer for ‘Conan the Barbarian (2011)’
HUMBLE BEGINNINGS
Arnold Schwarzenegger: In the mid-1960s, started a bodybuilding career. Won his first Mr. Universe title in 1967.
Jason Momoa: In 1998, started a modeling career.
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger: First role was as Hercules in ‘Hercules in New York.’
Jason Momoa: First role was as Jason in ‘Baywatch Hawaii.’
Advantage: Momoa
EXPERIENCE LEVEL
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Before ‘Conan,’ had ten on-screen credits.
Jason Momoa: Before ‘Conan,’ had eight on-screen credits.
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
TV CAREER
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Appeared on the television series ‘The Streets of San Francisco.’
Jason Momoa: Appeared on the television series ‘Stargate: Atlantis.’
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
Jason Momoa: Portrayed Khal Drogo on ‘Game of Thrones,’ a man who would fight any challenger to defend his crown.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Portrayed Hercules in ‘Hercules in New York,’ a man who once punched a bear in Central Park.
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
BEST QUOTES
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Most famous pre ‘Conan’ quote is “Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer,” from ‘Pumping Iron.’
Jason Momoa: Most famous pre ‘Conan’ is (translated), “Mago, find somewhere else to stick your c**k,” from ‘Game of Thrones.’
Advantage: Momoa
ONLINE IDENTITY
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Has a fairly secretive official website that asks us to “Stay tuned for my next move.”
Jason Momoa: Has a fairly secretive official website that only states, “Jason has some awesome new pics to show you. We just can’t release them yet.”
Advantage: Schwarzenegger
THE NUMBERS GAME
Jason Momoa: Was once assaulted by a man brandishing a beer glass, which resulted in stitches totaling upwards of 140.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Used to own a Mercedes W140.
Advantage Momoa
PATERNITY
Jason Momoa: In 2007, Momoa and his partner, Lisa Bonet, welcomed their first child into the world.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: In 1997, Schwarzenegger and his housekeeper … um, never mind.
Advantage: Momoa
Obviously, Jason Momoa isn’t anywhere near as accomplished as Schwarzenegger. But when you consider only their pre-Conan roles, Momoa — mostly from his work on ‘Game of Thrones’ — does have a slight advantage. Only time will tell if Momoa goes on to rule the box-office in a James Cameron film or (God help us) govern a state. But, up to this point, the result is, surprisingly …
WINNER: Jason Momoa
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(Banner image courtesy of Everett Collection | Lionsgate)