‘Happy Endings’ cast talks tonight’s ‘Smackdown,’ upcoming antics, and a possible visit from Jack Bauer

In tonight’s episode of ABC’s disturbingly addictive Happy Endings, the gang becomes entwined in the “5th Annual Spring Smackdown” — an event so inane and ridiculous that it requires t-shirts. The gist is this: Every year, the perpetual slob Max (Adam Pally) comes out of winter hibernation when the show’s married couple, Brad (Damon Wayans Jr.) and Jane (Eliza Coupe), get into a domestic squabble. Only this year, things don’t go quite as planned. “It’s really funny, because we kind of have it where it looks like we’re fighting from our friends’ point of view, but we’re actually just saying really nice things to each other,” Wayans explained. This leads to a variety of misunderstandings, and hilarity, as always, ensues.

EW was on set with the gang in Los Angeles last week, and if one thing became clear, it was who would win an actual Happy Endings cast Smackdown: Coupe, a woman so raunchy and brazen that most of her hilarious interview was too inappropriate to post on this family-friendly website. (Just picture a lot of talk about threesomes with Michael Fassbender). Still, EW was able to get the scoop on exciting things to come, as well as the cast’s thoughts on babies, Kardashians, and future guest stars. MILD SPOILERS AHEAD!

If seeing Dave (Zachary Knighton) in a variety of sexual positions does not sound appealing, definitely avoid Feb. 29th’s episode, “Cocktails & Dreams.” Once Dave turns his food truck, “Steak Me Home Tonight,” into a mobile speakeasy, everyone starts having very explicit dreams about the gang’s hopelessly uncool friend. Most were tight-lipped on the dastardly details of their cocktail-induced dreams, but Casey Wilson shed a little light on her true-to-life fantasy. “With my sex dream, the writers sort of took from my personal life,” the actress explained. “I am obsessed with the Kardashians, and had a real love affair with Kris Jenner’s book. So in Penny’s fantasy world, she’s reading the book curled up by the fire.”

Fortunately for Dave, his friends won’t be the only ones living out their fantasies: Dave will finally feel cool when a big name starts frequenting his truck. “Dave’s truck has a little bit of a pop coming up,” Knighton said. “He starts hanging out with a big-time celeb: Colin Hanks. Colin Hanks is playing Colin Hanks. He was amazing.”

Hanks isn’t the only special guest star on the upcoming roster, but he’s definitely the only one getting the VIP treatment. SNL‘s Bobby Moynihan will play a nemesis for Dave, Bridesmaids‘ Ben Falcone will stop by as an annoying landlord hellbent on dating Alex (Elisha Cuthbert), and EW was first-hand to witness Mary Elizabeth Ellis (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia‘s tragic “Waitress”) getting tortured by the gang. Ellis stops by as a former friend of Penny’s, but Penny and her friends go to pretty great lengths to avoid hanging out with her. “They get into this series of lies,” Wilson explained. “It turns into, ‘We’re throwing a baby shower for someone.’”

“Someone” meaning Brad and Jane. “Buckle up everybody,” Coupe said. “We’re having a baby shower. Who is having a baby? Nobody. There’s a fight involved, there’s dancing. Ellen is involved…”  But even though Brad seemed to get pretty excited by the little (fake) baby clothes, Coupe swore that the couple wouldn’t be crossing that bridge anytime soon. “Nobody needs a baby,” she deadpanned. “Nobody. Brain [Brad and Jane] are not going to have a baby, personally, because Eliza, the actress, doesn’t want to go near a child.”

There is someone, however, that Coupe definitely wants to go near: co-star Elisha Cuthbert’s former TV dad, Kiefer Sutherland. “Elisha and I were talking about how it would be great for Kiefer Sutherland to play our dad,” she said. “[He could be] fighting terrorists? That’s never been done. I think… it sounds like [Jack Bauer] would be his name.”

Luckily, Cuthbert is already taking the steps to make this happen. “I’m trying to convince him!” she said. “I mean, he actually came up with the idea. The last time I saw him, I told him, ‘You’re going to get a call.’ He had good ideas for it! I tried to plant the seed. Fingers crossed.”

Happy Endings airs tonight at 9:30 p.m. E.T.