Jokes Ricky Gervais Will Probably Make At the Golden Globes

Now that the 2012 Golden Globe nominations have been announced, some award show fans will be speculating on which movie will win the most prizes or what these honors will mean for Oscar chances … but a second group of fans will take part in a much more gleefully nasty guessing game: What jokes will Ricky Gervais make during his job as host? Judging from his last two years as host, it’s probably pretty easy to assume Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Mel Gibson and Madonna will factor heavily in Gervais’s monologue on Jan. 15. Who else will receive the roast-master’s caustic ire? Ahead, six potential jokes Ricky Gervais might tell at the Golden Globes. Please provide your own rimshot, and don’t forget to tip your waitress and/or try the veal.

1. A lot of actors this year covered themselves in make-up to play old and decrepit characters: Leonardo DiCaprio in ‘J. Edgar.’ Meryl Streep in ‘The Iron Lady.’ And perhaps the most method of all, the director of ‘W.E.,’ Madonna.

2. Something about Angelina Jolie, ‘In the Land of Blood and Honey’ and her sexual relationship with Brad Pitt. (Use your imagination on this one; also, apologies.)

3. One of the big nominees this year is ‘The Artist,’ an homage to the golden age of silent film; it’s surprising to see how well received it’s been in the U.S., because it has two things that Americans absolutely hate: French people and reading.

4. Johnny Depp was not nominated for ‘The Rum Diary,’ meaning his check to the Hollywood Foreign Press didn’t clear in time.

5. ‘Moneyball’ could be one of the night’s big winners. The film is a true story about the Oakland Athletics and how they applied a revolutionary form of statistical analysis to the game of baseball. It’s the film that dared to ask “What would happen if you combined two things that are very boring?”

6. God doesn’t exist. Goodnight!

[Photo: Getty Images for Michael J.]