Randy & Evi Quaid Seek Asylum From “Star Whackers”

Why are these people allowed to walk the streets without psychotropics?

Look out, Vancouver: Kooky, bail-jumping couple Randy and Evi Quaid — Barney Fife’s answer to Bonnie & Clyde — are seeking asylum in Canada after they say eight of their celebrity friends were murdered by a serial killing group dubbed “The Star Whackers,” prompting fears that The Quaids may be next.

Can you say “CooCoo for Coco Puffs?”

On Wednesday, Randy and Evi were arrested on charges of immigration violations while shopping in an affluent neighborhood in Vancouver, days after a judge in Santa Barbara, California issued a warrant for their arrest following their failure to appear in court. Arrest warrants totaling $100,000 had been ordered for the couple after they missed a court appearance Monday. The Quaids are facing felony burglary charges and misdemeanor counts on The West Coast for allegedly moving back into and vandalizing a home they once owned in Santa Barbara.

In a bizarre hearing at the Canadian Immigration and Refugee Board Friday, Randy — best known for playing Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon’s Vacation movies — told a board adjudicator he wanted asylum in Canada because he was afraid of a group he believed was responsible for killing eight of his Hollywood friends, including Heath Ledger and David Carradine.

Lawyers for The Quaids provided the court with a handwritten note with this statement from the couple scribbled across the page:

“Yes, we are requesting asylum from Hollywood ‘STAR WHACKERS.’”

Ledger overdosed in 2008. In the summer of 2009, Carradine was found dead in a Bangkok hotel room from what Thai authorities ruled auto-erotic asphyxiation.