The Affair Season 3 Finale Apparently Forgot Why People Actually Like The Affair

Raise your hand if Noah is at the bottom of your list of characters you watch The Affair for. 

Keep your hand raised if you’re a little thrown off by The Affair’s finale, which focused entirely on Noah (Dominic West), his fractured relationship with his daughter, his hatred of his daughter’s asshole boyfriend with the funny name, his love for a French lady with an Alzheimer’s-stricken husband, and the demise of said Alzheimer’s-stricken husband. 

Alzheimer’s is no laughing matter and it’s a plight that deserves a spotlight, but that was weird. Apparently Noah can’t help but get involved with women who are dealing with tragedies in their personal lives. Is that what we’re supposed to take from this? 

Helen (Maura Tierney) was almost nowhere to be found. Cole (Joshua Jackson) and Alison (Ruth Wilson) were totally MIA, but at least we got to see Noah make out with a French woman whose husband just died. 

Somehow, after being released from prison, Noah was able to travel to Paris, where everyone spoke a lot of French, and somebody thought we were really invested in the life of Juliette (Irene Jacob). We weren’t. In fact we spent the 20ish minutes that were devoted to her wondering where our faves had gone. 

For a minute, Juliette’s husband was lucid again. Then he wasn’t, and then he died. She made out with Noah, kept running into her judgey friends on the street, and then she read his book. Who cares? 

Meanwhile, Noah discovered that Whitney’s (Julia Goldani Telles) sleazy older boyfriend, Furkat, had an art show in Paris, and she was there too. But Noah doesn’t know her, and he doesn’t care, so he should just go away. 

Later, he witnessed Furkat go on about how much he loved “f–king” Whitney, right before he slapped her in the face. Noah was about to go off, but Whitney dragged him away, and they had a heart to heart by the river about love and what a real man is supposed to do. Noah’s the worst example of a “real man,” but it was a convo that needed to be had, and finally, we cared about something that was happening. 

It was actually cute. Finally, they flew back to the US together, and he made sure she got home safely. He didn’t go inside, but Helen did wave to him, and his son wanted to hang out with him, so that’s nice for him, we guess. Glad we got to watch a man sort of reconnect with his children and accept the fact that he’s been an asshole. 

Noah got into a cab. The driver asked where he was going. The screen went black. We’ve never cared less. 

What did you think? Were you as thrown off as we were? Sound off in the comments!

The Affair will return to Showtime later this year.