The Muppets Are Brainwashing Your Children, According to Fox News

Get your pitchforks ready — those wackos in Hollyweird are trying to brainwash your children into thinking terrible evil things. Using their agents of propaganda, they are attempting to corrupt an entire generation of impressionable viewers with false information, in an effort to lead this country’s future into a perilous decline. Parents take heed: to protect your children, you must not take them to see ‘The Muppets’; it may appear to be a holiday comedy for the whole family, an attempt to carry on the message and spirit of its creator Jim Henson, but that is mere deception. It is actually a weapon designed to trick your children into thinking that the oil industry — and by proxy capitalism and America — is evil. You can thank the good people at Fox Business Report for alerting us all to their dastardly motivation.

Since there’s clearly no other economic news important enough to cover, ‘Follow the Money’ host Eric Bolling spoke with Dan Gainor of the Media Research Center, and asked the question that needed to be asked: “Is liberal Hollywood using class warfare to brainwash our kids?” And the answer is a resounding “YES!” In the new ‘Muppets’ movie, Chris Cooper stars as Tex Richman, an oil baron who plans to tear down the famed Muppet theater and drill for the precious oil percolating underneath. He also plans to buy out the Muppets name and re-package them for a group of low-life Reno troublemakers because he believes that we live in a “hard, cynical world” and it deserves a “hard, cynical act.” And ‘The Muppets’ has the gall to imply that these are less than admirable character traits.

As Bolling and Gainor explain, the movie may deceive you into thinking that an unhealthy lust for personal wealth can you leave morally bankrupt, but don’t buy it! ‘The Muppets’ — like previous children’s entertainment including ‘Captain Planet,’ Nickelodeon’s ‘Big Green Help’ and ‘Syriana’ — is trying to deceive your child into thinking capitalism is bad. Tex Richman is a successful businessman, and like Bolling reminds you, we should admire those people. Even though Richman blatantly flaunts his wealth in the Muppets’ faces when they ask him for leniency, you shouldn’t believe that someone with wealth would refuse to be charitable.

(And the fact that Bolling made his fortune on the NY Mercantile Exchange, trading crude oil among other things, has nothing to do with his motivation; if you’re just going to use that “fact” to question his “objectivity” then you can hop on the first bus back to Cuba.)

Oil, that ever-lasting lifeblood of the planet Earth, provides an endless amount of benefits to the America people; if children believe the lies of ‘The Muppets,’ they could grow up with the ridiculous notion that there are negative consequences to the oil business.

Now that you’ve had your eyes opened, don’t think that all is lost. There is still suitable entertainment you can share with your children this holiday season, like ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,’ — which coincidentally is also produced by the Fox corporation. It’s kind of funny that the movie that poses the biggest financial threat to the potential audience of ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ just so happens to be mental poison to your child; it’s a good thing the employees of the company were brave enough to point out this fact about their competition.

[via MediaMatters]

[Photo: Disney; Fox]

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