Tuesday Crunch Crumbs

-Not this bitch again: Famewhore Debrahlee Lorenzana wasn’t at work again today. Instead, the lusty Latina called a press conference to explain why her human rights were violated. In case you’ve been under a rock for the past few weeks, Debbie used to work at Citibank in Manhattan but was fired “because she’s too beautiful and her beauty distracted co-workers.” The phrase “Chile Puhleeze” springs to mind. Thanks to an unearthed Discovery Channel documentary, we later learned that Debrahlee’s said beauty should actually be credited to Long Island’s finest cosmetic surgeons.

Did we forget to mention that “Miss America” is now represented by The Bar Association’s own Captain Save-A-Ho, Gloria Allred?

-Britney Spears By Candies….

-Lauryn Hill explains her absence from showbusiness…

-Get ready for a lot more Pretty Little Liars…

-When the Wonders of Weave go terribly wrong: Naomi Campbell Edition….

-Hoodrat Stuff of the Day: A meth-faced couple in Salinas, California is accused of trying to sell their ninth-month-old baby girl for $25 in a Wal-Mart parking lot. We suggest Child Protective Services turn this adorable little lady over to be raised by a pack of wolves. She’ll undoubtedly be better off…

-Method Man makes things square with Uncle Sam just in time for Independence Day….

-Top 10 Dumbest Celebrity Tattoos….

-Ha! BestWeekEver.TV has put together a compilation of the funniest flicks from Chris Brown’s faux “Man In The Mirror” breakdown. I love the one where his mouth is open wide enough to catch flies!

-And while we’re on the subject of Little Ike Turner, devoted (read: delusional) Breezy Stans have driven Omarion’s mama out of the Twitterverse. He can dance. Big deal. His fancy footwork doesn’t change the fact that he’s an arrogant assclown — not to mention an admitted woman beater. He wasn’t crying for MJ and he isn’t sorry that he went upside Rihanna’s head. He’s simply tormented by the fact that he ruined his career in a fit of rage. You people seriously need to pry yourselves away from this kid’s scrotum…

-Treats for your 4th of July BBQ….

-John Legend’s hairline is a Hot Topic of Discussion on The Interwebs…

-Here’s the trailer for the new animated comedy Rango, featuring Oscar-nominated star Johnny Depp…

-Did you know that the average woman spends $25,000 on shoes in her lifetime?

-The season’s Best Beach Reads….

–Joy, the new album from Canadian music star Fefe Dobson, drops Aug. 17….