Everyone loves guns, lets be honest. Whether openly or in the privacy of our own heads, we all get ‘that’ feeling when we caress the cold handle. We know the feeling well; it is the feeling we had as small boys when we held our first toy pistol and immediately pointed it menacingly at the nearest sibling, parent or neighborhood rival. Luckily most of us don’t grow up to be armed killers; we simply shake the feeling off, forget it for a while. Then we spend a drunken evening watching action movies and it all comes flooding back. Sci-fi movie directors know this, so they spend much of their time and budget making the coolest looking weapons ever. Here, we salute them.
10. Han Solo’s DL-44 Heavy Blaster Pistol – Star Wars
The pièce de résistance for many self-respecting sci-fi gun nuts, what the hell isn’t there to love about this other-worldly design classic? Aside from being a seriously good-looking piece of kit – the design being based on German Mauser machine pistols – it’s also a reassuringly excellent example for males everywhere of something being small, but effective.
Still not convinced? YouTube the ‘Han shot first’ Greedo scene from New Hope and tell me it isn’t the coolest thing you ever saw. If Clint Eastwood were born on Coruscant this is what he’d pack.
9. Auto-9 – Robocop
A gun so goddamned awesome it’s even been recreated as a replica for toys and Airsoft. Despite the other weapons at his disposal, Robocop delves out his mechanical justice with the Auto-9 – the spearhead of his arsenal – and who wouldn’t? It’s one of the coolest looking weapons ever.
Based on a Beretta, the weapon has a widened barrel and is designed to fire three round bursts in the general direction of bad dudes and wonky faced henchmen with brutal robo-precision. Plus it lives in a holster in his leg. Awesome.
8. Lawgiver – Judge Dredd
It is surely fitting that one of the coolest, and most brutal, characters in sci-fi be given an equally cool and brutal firearm to keep him company during those long nights increasing the numbers of widows in Mega-City One.
Dredd’s Lawgiver pistol looks awesome and has insane specs. Firing several unique types of rounds, including ricochet bullets, incendiary rounds and explosive shells – and of course the obligatory ‘execution’ style single shot – this is a gun you would not want to be on the wrong side of. Only thing is, this is exactly where you’ll always be because it explodes if picked up by anyone except its owner.
7. Zorg ZF-1 Pod Weapon – The Fifth Element
Infamously demonstrated in this underrated sci-fi epic by the delightfully devious Jean Baptiste Zorg – played by Gary Oldman – the Zorg ZF-1 Pod Weapon is another firearm which is loaded with preposterously awesome features designed to kill, maim and generally cause the rapid expulsion of bowel contents in one’s enemies.
Notable features included a ‘replay’ feature, wherein fired rounds automatically seek the previous target even if the gun is facing in a different direction, as well as a flamethrower and an icy freeze function. Not to be messed with.
6. Samaritan – Hellboy
Possibly the holiest weapon ever made, Hellboy’s much cherished sidearm is reputedly forged from Irish church bells and blessed metals, and has a handle made from the wood of Christ’s crucifix.
Suffice to say, Hellboy certainly doesn’t waste all those sacred relics by letting his Samaritan gather dust in some cupboard. He is routinely seen pummeling generally bad dudes and occult Nazi foot soldiers with his unique types of religious ammunition, including shells containing holy water and garlic shavings.
5. The Noisy Cricket – Men In Black
One of the funniest weapons of all time. We all remember the iconic scene when Agent J has the smile wiped off his face after firing the tiny little gun and nearly losing his arm, and body, as well as his credibility.
Resembling a sort of handheld metal syringe with a handle, the deceivingly unassuming firearm has the power ‘of an average block of C4′, leading to much mirth-making and ceaseless practical jokes, no doubt.
4. Proton Pack – Ghostbusters
Created by the legendary Dr Egon Spengler, the proton pack is a particle accelerator system which discharges particle beams. It was utilized to great effect by the Ghostbusters as a way of lassoing freaky paranormal entities.
Aside from being a seriously sweet looking backpack and hand cannon combo generally, the weapon makes it into this list because of all those times we spent as kids running around the backyard with the green polystyrene replica toy trying to ‘exorcise’ our younger siblings.
3. Jawa Blaster – Star Wars
One of the staples of a good sci-fi movie is a realistic, lived-in looking world. This is exactly what George Lucas wanted when he envisioned Star Wars, and in honor of him making the greatest sci-fi canon of all time bar none, we’ve included a weapon which – however unfashionable – sums up this look perfectly.
The Jawa Blaster was made from a sawed down British Enfield rifle with a grenade launcher cup crudely attached to its barrel, which simultaneously reflected the Jawa’s characteristic scavenger nature and gave a sort of depth and historical context. These things looked like they could blow up in your hands through sheer age and poor engineering, which however you look at is is pretty freaking excellent for a species who lived on a dusty old desert world with nothing but robot parts to harvest. Perfectly imperfect.
2. M41A Pulse Rifle – Aliens
An absolute screen icon, the M41A Pulse Rifle surely has to be one of the most famous weapons in sci-fi history. With a capacity of 99 10mm rounds of armor piercing fun, this standard-issue firearm is the don of all double-handed movie weapons.
Its design was based on a combination of three existing weapons: the M1 Thompson submachine gun, a cut down Remington 870 shotgun, and the exterior of a SPAS-12 combat shotgun. Aliens or no aliens, this bad man ain’t gonna leave you in the lurch during any 24-hour, income tax related killing sprees you might decide to instigate.
1. Old Painless – Predator
Simply the baddest, gnarliest, most awesome-est gun ever conceived, who the hell wouldn’t immediately evacuate their bladder upon seeing the barrel of this obscene hand cannon poke its way through the foliage? The Predator, it turns out. But you catch our drift…
This weapon was mainly sported by the mean, mustachio’d, Jesse “The Body” Ventura during his madcap escapade through the jungle, while he and the future Governor of California were being stalked by the universe’s most badass hunter ever. The gun is so extreme that the US army reputedly tested a version of it in the ’70s but had to let it go due to ‘impracticalities.’ If this won’t make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, nothing will.
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