The Olympic Games: A tradition as timeless and magnificent as any. The world’s best athletes put their impressive skills on display. Countries come together for a common goal. Gymnasts get to wear really cool Swarovski-covered leotards. A good time is always had by all.
But the best moments of the Olympics don’t always come just with the fastest time or the perfect beam routine or the most baskets scored. They can come from hilarious parents watching in the stands, or the ridiculous faces made by track and field runners as they sprint their hearts out.
And that’s what E! is here for.
We’ve had our eye on the real pulse of Rio since the Opening Ceremonies, keeping watch for the most fabulous moments that (usually) had nothing to do with the traditional meaning of sports. We found several standout moments that we simply can’t let go—they deserve to be called out for all their Olympic glory. As such, we’re giving out our own gold medals. Sorry, Michael Phelps, but you’ll have to share the spotlight just this once.
The Gold Medal for Best Belly Flop: Ahmad Amsyar Azman
It’s so boring watching perfect dive after perfect dive. Malaysia’s Azman sensed the public’s growing weariness of perfection and gave the people what they wanted: A belly flop. He sacrificed his own pride (and stomach skin) for the entertainment of the masses, and he deserves to be honored for that. At least, that’s how we’d like to think that whole scenario went.
The Gold Medal for Sportsmanship: Abbey D’Agostino and Nikki Hamblin
Now this is seriously friendship goals. Or, shall we say, new friendship goals. USA’s D’Agostino and New Zealand’s Hamblin were running the 5,000 meter event when they collided, sending the New Zealander into a crumpled heap. Instead of racing past with nary a care (as, frankly, many would probably do), the American stopped to help her competitor up to get her injuries looked at. We commend thee, ladies.
The Gold Medal for Surprise Visits: Zac Efron
Holy cow, can this guy pull off a surprise with a flourish! It was well documented that Simone was head over heels in love with the hunky actor, so he decided to hop on down to Rio and meet in person. As you do. “When I found out Simone and this team were fans, I was like, ‘What kind of guy am I if I don’t show up?” he told the Today show. And that’s how you win an E! gold medal.
The Gold Medal for Best Example of Living the Goop Lifestyle: Michael Phelps
Gwyneth Paltrow would be so proud, Mike. She’s been preaching the healing powers of cupping for years now, and finally someone took her up on her advice. That’s living the dream.
The Gold Medal for Best Post-Race Reaction: Fu Yuanhui
You’re looking at pure, raw, uninhibited emotion right now. China’s Fu Yuanhi was being interviewed after swimming the 100 meter breaststroke when the reporter broke the fabulous news that she won a bronze medal and, well, you see.
The Gold Medal for Best Chest Bump Fail
So we clearly know that volleyball players can do a chest bump—which made it all the more fabulous when they attempted another celebration after winning a point and it didn’t quite go as planned. We’ll let the GIF do the talking.
The Gold Medal for Class: Gabby Douglas
The Internet is the worst, and Gabby Douglas is the best. Nobody should have to endure online bullying, most specifically not for whether or not they hold their hand correctly during the national anthem. She handled herself fabulously throughout the terrible treatment, for which she deserves yet another medal.
The Gold Medal for Best Makeover: The Green Diving Pool
Girl, look at you! One day you’re a regular pool, all blue and see-through and sparkling, and the next you’re pea soup green. How do you do it? We may never find out your magic.
The Gold Medal for Best Doppelganging: Brady Ellison
Is that Leonardo DiCaprio? Oh, wait, it’s just Olympic archery competitor Brady Ellison.
The Gold Medal for Commentary: Leslie Jones
This really needs no explanation or argument, we just wanted to pay homage to her a little bit more.
The Gold Medal for Best Diva Moment: Paul George
A note to Paul George: The Olympics are not as glamorous as the NBA standards to which you’ve grown accustomed, and you will have to refill your own water cup.
The Gold Medal for Unsung Heroes: Golf Caddies
This year is golf’s Olympic debut, and thus the first time that golf caddies get to show off their heroism on the world’s stage. Who else will follow around a guy in a visor and make sure he is touched by nary a drop of rain?
The Gold Medal for Flair: Matthew McConaughey
Look at that lanyard! He puts the Chotchkie’s Restaurant staff to shame.
The Gold Medal for Defying Gravity: Sanne Wevers
Sanne Wevers is in a position that no human should ever be able to contort themselves into, and she also happens to be making it whilst flying through the air.
The Gold Medal for All-Around Performance: Dressage Horses
They’re horses. Who dance. To the beat of popular songs like Santana’s “Smooth.” That is medal material.
