Well it’s the end of the road for Ryan Lochte, but we kind of think it was time.
He went further than we ever thought he would, and we commend him for that. We also commend everyone for tonight’s Halloween show, because it was truly spectacular, and spooky AF.
We really did have a great time during every performance, even the several that seemed weirdly slow, and even despite the complete lack of Stranger Things references. Where was our dancing Eleven, we wondered, but then we got over it thanks to all the dancing other things we got.
Anyway, tonight’s episode was exactly the type of content we needed this Halloween night, so let’s talk about the dances!
Terra Jole and Sasha Farber: 24/30
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice…was it just us or did this dance seem slower than it should have been??…Beetlejuice!
Laurie Hernandez and Val Chmerkovskiy: 30/30
Find someone who looks at you in the totally platonic but loving way Val and Laurie look at each other while they float around the stage.
Marilu Henner and Derek Hough: 23/30
Well. It was a good concept!
Calvin Johnson and Lindsay Arnold: 30/30
You’ve got two skeleton costumes and you don’t do David S. Pumpkins? Missed opportunity!
Ryan Lochte and Cheryl Burke: 23/30
Ryan officially wins most improved this season! But it was also his time to go.
Jana Kramer and Gleb Savchenko:
Sorry if this is weird but we wouldn’t hate to be the middle of a sandwich made of these two people. I mean, look at them.
Again, so sorry. But we’re also not sorry.
James Hinchcliffe and Jenna Johnson/Sharna Burgess: 30/30
Even without his regular partner (who is currently injured), he killed it. Best Joker and Harley Quinn we’ve seen all Halloween weekend!
Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.