Is Brad Pitt really the right guy to take on a global zombie epidemic in “World War Z”?
Sure, he’s got leading man and action hero credentials, not to mention a handful of Oscar nominations that suggest he’ll be convincing at playing a guy fighting off the undead.
Still, based on his filmography, shouldn’t we be a little suspicious? Judging by the roles he’s played, couldn’t he be a secret zombie himself?
That’s right: Brad Pitt, an undead monster, a cold-blooded hunter of humans, an emotionless automaton, a seemingly unstoppable killer. Pitt has embodied all these aspects of zombiedom on-screen, many times over. Oh, sure, he’s Angelina Jolie’s devoted fiancé and father to her six kids, but then, what better cover? Besides, isn’t she the woman who used to wear a vial of blood around her neck? Could the two of them be raising, in secret, a brood of ridiculously good-looking zombies? Pitt did say he made “World War Z” expressly for his own kids.
For more proof, just check out this extensive selection of his movie roles:
“Kalifornia”: Sociopathic serial killer.
“True Romance”: Brain-dead stoner.
“Interview With the Vampre”: Undead bloodsucker. (Bonus points for walking around like an emotionally numb corpse even before Tom Cruise’s Lestat turns him into a vampire.)
“Legends of the Fall”: Warrior who spends most of the movie numb with grief.
“Twelve Monkeys”: Madman and possible sociopath who may have started the apocalypse.
“Sleepers”: Well, just look at the title.
“Meet Joe Black”: Death himself. Is ignorant about the sensory pleasures of human life, from peanut butter to sex.
“Fight Club”: Possibly sociopathic anarchist. Feeds on a part of Edward Norton’s brain that Norton is apparently not using.
“Snatch”: Unbeatable fighter. Speaks in grunts only barely comprehensible as human speech.
“Troy”: Unkillable fighter — well, almost unkillable.
“Mr. & Mrs. Smith”: Assassin. Cold-blooded enough to hunt his own wife.
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”: Man born a withered, aged, corpse-like being.
“Killing Them Softly”: Hitman.
Of course, we don’t actually think Brad Pitt’s a zombie, but if he turns into one, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Gallery | ‘World War Z’ New York Premiere
‘World War Z’ New York Premiere – Outside Arrivals
Brad Pitt attends the ‘World War Z’ premiere on June 17, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/Getty Images)
‘World War Z’ New York Premiere – Outside Arrivals
Brad Pitt attends the ‘World War Z’ premiere on June 17, 2013 in New York City. Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images)
‘World War Z’ New York Premiere – Outside Arrivals
Brad Pitt attends the ‘World War Z’ premiere on June 17, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/Getty Images)
Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt attends the premiere of “World War Z” in Times Square on Monday, June 17, 2013 in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Brad Pitt
Actor Brad Pitt attends the premiere of “World War Z” in Times Square on Monday, June 17, 2013, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt takes a photo with a fan at the premiere of “World War Z” in Times Square on Monday, June 17, 2013, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Marc Foster
Director Marc Forster signs autographs for fans at the premiere of “World War Z” in Times Square on Monday, June 17, 2013, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Mireille Enos
Actress Mireille Enos signs autographs for fans at the premiere of “World War Z” in Times Square on Monday, June 17, 2013, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)