Ryan Reynolds: ‘Entertainment Weekly’ Cheeky Autobiography!

Ryan Reynolds shows off a fake tattoo of his own face on his bicep on the cover of Entertainment Weekly’s latest issue, on newsstands on Friday (June 17).

The 34-year-old Green Lantern star was asked to write a tongue-in-cheek biography of himself for the issue! Here are a few highlights:

On growing up: “In the Reynolds household, family came first. He spent a great deal of time with his older brothers and, in turn, his brothers were very close to him. Usually within striking distance. Fun to bruise and generally considered to be ‘emergency food,’ he was teased for being the sensitive kid who liked to mow the lawn and get punched in the face.”

On his effort to make the world a better place: “In 2006, in an effort to decrease his widening carbon footprint, Reynolds abandoned the use of his car and spent a year bicycling around Los Angeles. L.A. is not well-known as a bicycle-friendly metropolis. His lofty sojourn would soon take a tragic turn when he was run over at Doheny and Sunset. Not by a motorist, but by Ed Begley Jr. on his 12-speed Nishiki, calling Reynolds an ‘idealist’ while kicking him with a mile and a half of freshly shaved bone-white leg.”

On moving to L.A.: “After moving to Los Angeles at the tender age of 19 – armed with only $ 600 and a rape whistle – he quickly established himself as one of Hollywood’s most dynamic and immensely talented waiters.”

For more from Ryan, visit EW.com!

Bigger cover pic inside…