‘iZombie’: We compiled all of Major’s best ‘teen girl’ lines — you’re welcome

“iZombie” continues to deliver some of the best macabre comedy of the year — and this week’s version happens to be of the daddy-daughter variety.

After a father and daughter both die in a mysterious car crash, Clive (Malcolm Goodwin) suspects foul play. Subsequently, Major (Robert Buckley) and Liv (Rose McIver) partake of both brains, with Major drawing the short straw — hello, Hormonal Teen Girl Major! And can we just say that Robert Buckley deserves an Emmy for this performance? Seriously, he was born to play this role.

From selfies to sing-alongs, we rounded up all the best “teenager-isms” from Major this week.

7. “I have mercenary training, GOD!”
6. “Oh my God, badger much? She just found out her best friend was murdered!”
5. “Your abs make me want to kill myself.”
4. “I cannot stop taking selfies. I stare at them, and I criticize myself. I mean, look at this, ugh. I look like a** in every picture!”
3, “She made you Eskimo brothers with Satan!”
2. “He was all, ‘we have to take this to the authorities,’ and she was all, ‘You’re ruining my life,’ and I was all, ‘Why can’t I just eat a Filmore Graves brain tube thing, because visions are super annoying.'”
1. “She slept with Blaine, which first of all, ew. Second of all, I can’t even.”

In the world unrelated to teen-girl brains, we finally got a look into Clive’s backstory and exactly how he knew Wally (Mataeo Mingo). As it turns out, he lived across from Wally and his mom (and their abusive father/husband) back in his vice days, when he was undercover.

Whatever romance they had ended when she moved out of their building, but we’re curious to see if there’s more to that story — even if she and Wally are now dead, likely thanks to the wave of anti-zombie sentiment Filmore Graves says is running rampant. We’re not taking our eyes off Filmore Graves quite yet, though: Killing three of their own and blaming it on zombie-haters would be a pretty good way to wipe out any doubt that the Filmore Graves agenda is what’s best for the zombie community.

“iZombie” airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on The CW.

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