CAST AWAY!

… Ewan McGregor, whose name undoubtedly means a great deal of different things to different people but who will always be Jerome in The Pillow Book to me, is taking the plunge into series TV. Good on you, Ew! He’ll play middle-child Chip in HBO’s adaptation of Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections, co-written by Franzen and Noah “The Squid and the Whale” Baumbach. Dianne Wiest and Chris Cooper have already been cast as the parents. This thing reeks of Emmy-hungry prestige like Blue Stilton cheese stinks like feet. [Deadline]

… Comedian/onetime The Biggest Loser host Caroline Rhea will star with Nathan Lane, Ken Jenkins, and Cheyenne Jackson in USA’s untitled Douglas McGrath comedy pilot. Lane plays “an unlucky actor whose Broadway aspirations must be put on hold when his father’s health takes a turn for worse, forcing him to return to his Texas hometown.” Meanwhile, Vanessa Ferlito of CSI: NY joins the cast of a different USA pilot, this one a drama from the creator of White Collar. The show “follows agents from various federal and local agencies (DEA, FBI, LAPD) who all live at an undercover house in Southern California.” Any stabs at a title, people? How about… Jacuzzi Agents!? [Deadline]

… Roxana Brusso of Southland has joined Kiefer Sutherland’s new Fox drama, Touch, where she’ll play Sheri, “a tough former biker with a heart of gold.” Touch is from Heroes creator Tim Kring, and will premiere on Fox this spring. Here’s a trailer. [EW]

REAL DEALS

… Sarah Silverman’s NBC sitcom pilot is going from page to screen. The bidding war to acquire the project that went down in August wasn’t for naught! [THR]

… BBC America has greenlit an adventure cooking competition called No Kitchen Required. Three chefs—New York restaurateur Michael Psilakis, Chopped Grand Champion chef Madison Cowan, and New Zealand chef Kayne Raymond—are dropped into a remote location and forced to hunt and forage their way to a delicious feast that will be judged by locals. Hopefully, the chefs themselves won’t become the main proteins. HELLO. Cannibalism joke. [Deadline]

… Booster Gold, a DC superhero created in the ‘80s as a fame-obsessed narcissist who used his powers to advance his own career and celebrity (very ahead of its time!), will become the subject of Syfy series from Greg Berlanti’s production company. The pilot will be written by Fringe scribe Andrew Kreisberg. [THR]

… Gale Anne Hurd, producer of The Walking Dead, is developing a series based on the book Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base. It’s all very preliminary and no network is yet attached. But still: aliens and secrets! [Deadline]

YOU DON’T SAY?

… No one cares about Dancing with the Stars’ finale: The show’s ratings hit a series low on Monday. [EW]

… “ABC, CBS and Fox flourish in fall: NBC alone in posting across-the-board ratings declines” [Variety]

… “Fox News Viewers Are Less Informed Than Those Watching No News, Poll Suggests” [THR]

… David Fisher, of NCIS, has pled “not guilty” to choking his neighbor. [TMZ]

… Beleaguered home entertainment distribution entity Netflix had a rough showing on the stock market, with shares plummeting to less than $ 70 each a day after the company announced plans to find $ 400 million by “looking in every nook and cranny of every couch in our lobby” so it can produce additional episodes of Arrested Development. That company is swirling down the crapper, and fast. [EW]

… A 33-year-old woman who appeared on The People’s Court disappeared the same day her episode aired. I’d check Dough Llewelyn’s basement. Then try Rusty’s tool shed. No, but seriously, come home, Plaintiff! People are worried. [Reuters]

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