Nic Cage Will Only Eat Animals Who Have “Dignified” Sex

Pigs and cows frolicking on farms across this great nation will rest easier tonight knowing that their hinds are safe from the stomach of a Hollywood hasbeen. Nicolas Cage — who blew a multimillion dollar fortune on dinosaur skulls and odd crypts — has reached a new level of weirdness; he only eats creatures who have dignified sex.

If this is the same logic he applied to his accounting, it’s no wonder his finances are in the crapper!

“I have a fascination with fish, birds, whales – sentient life – insects, reptiles. I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex,” the actor allegedly told London’s notoriously sketchy The Sun. “I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds. But pigs, not so much. So I don’t eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl.”