Color us truly and completely devastated.
We had a feeling the wedding of Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) and Chad Radwell (Glen Powell) wasn’t going to end well, but we definitely didn’t imagine it would end that badly, with Chad’s dead body falling through the ceiling of the hospital chapel.
Sure, Chad was an awful idiot with no limit to how offensive and horrible he could be, and our love for him was complicated at best, but we couldn’t help delighting in his beautiful face and love for all his dead frat bros.
We’re also upset about his death because it kind of seems as if Dr. Brock (John Stamos) killed him, and if you can’t trust John Stamos, who can you trust?!
Let’s go back a bit.
Chad was completely convinced that Brock was a serial killer, thanks to the fact that he had the hand of a serial killer. Chad’s big plan to fix this was to find a new hand donor for Brock, and swap out his murdery hand for a less murdery hand.
Chad was even willing to perform the hand transplant surgery himself, despite literally any other decision probably being a better one.
In the meantime, he and Brock continued their competition for Chanel. At first, she chose herself, but then Chad wrote up a pre-nup and proposed to her with the help of a mariachi band, and they decided to get married the next day. Zayday (Keke Palmer) and Number 3 (Billie Lourd) were bridesmaids, Number 5 (Abigail Breslin) was the doggy ring bearer, and Chad had even asked Brock to be his best man, since all Chad’s bros were missing or dead.
Chad just really needed someone to keep him from straying from his new bride, since Chad is wont to do those sorts of things, and he actually really kinda loved Chanel, and Brock agreed. So maybe he just took his duties a little too far?
We’ll probably find out soon.
Elsewhere, Cheri Oteri played a patient with a disorder that gave her constant uncontrollable orgasms. In the process of curing her (which they did), Cassidy and Number 3 bonded. He revealed that he’s dead (he once choked on vomit and is now roaming the earth searching for a purpose), and she revealed that she has never had an orgasm.
Cassidy then realized that giving Number 3 an orgasm must be his purpose, but she was never quite in the mood. She was also kinda struggling with his cold dead skin, which he proved was truly cold by revealing his temperature to be 61 degrees.
Unfortunately for Cheri Oteri, she did not make it out of the hospital alive. As she was leaving, the Green Meanie sliced off her head, but ran away from Zayday, which is very curious.
And in Hester (Lea Michele) news, she’s finally made the move over to the Cure Institute. She’s living in the basement, rocking that Hannibal Lecter mask, and occasionally handing out helpful leads in figuring out who the serial killer is. Unfortunately, it’s just not enough to keep all the patients from dying.
The only real clue we got tonight came from a lotion mogul, who worked for the hospital during the Halloween party of 1986. He said that he’s been getting phone calls from someone who knows about the bodies that were thrown in the swamp, and suspects it’s the now 30 year-old whose father was one of those bodies.
So once again, we’re in search of a former baby who’s out for revenge…if we can get past mourning Chad Radwell.
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Fox.
