We need to talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ oddities

With the first two episode of the Arnold Schwarzenegger-hosted “Celebrity Apprentice” in the books, it’s time to take a look at how the Governor — yeah, we’ll get to that — is running this reality show ship.

It’s hard to dig into his version of “Celebrity Apprentice” without first focussing on his catchphrase. Donald Trump, who finds himself moving into the White House soon, had his signature “You’re fired!” to send away the eliminated contestant every week. Schwarzenegger would need his own and with so many iconic movie quotes attributed to his characters, the possibilities were endless.

When he finally unleashed the catchphrase though, it seemed to be the easiest — and least exciting — conclusion. “You’re terminated,” the host proclaimed as he cut talk show host/TV personality Carrie Keagan from the first episode. Then, however, things got interesting as he followed it with “Get to the chopper,” paying tribute to his 1987 film “Predator.”

So that’s the new motto, right? Not so fast.

In episode two, Schwarznegger switched things up. “You’re terminated,” he told singer Carnie Wilson, then adding, “Hasta la vista, baby.” That’s right, Arnold is keeping viewers on their toes as he kicks people off of his show, leading us to believe he’ll have a different one for each episode.

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Where does it end, though? Is he going to terminate someone and ask “Who is your daddy and what does he do?” “Kindergarten Cop” may not be his best-known role but surely it deserves a slot in Schwarzenegger’s ever-evolving catchphrase game, right?

While the catchphrases were great, they were definitely not the most flabbergasting part of Arnold’s new role as “Celebrity Apprentice.” Instead, it’s his insistence on being referred to as Governor — not Arnold, not Mr. Schwarzenegger, not even “that guy from ‘True Lies.'” When Jon Lovitz made the mistake of not addressing him as Governor in the board room, the host was quick to put him in his place.

It really makes it look like Schwarzenegger believes being California’s governor between 2003 and 2011 will be his lasting legacy. Anyone who’s ever heard of him knows that simply isn’t the case, though. He’s the Terminator — one of the biggest action movie stars of all time.

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Embrace your status as a movie icon, Arnold. It’s what the public loves about you and the biggest reason anyone is going to tune in to watch for on “Celebrity Apprentice.” And for the love of God, please make use of all of those ice puns you made in “Batman & Robin” when you need to fire people.

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